Farmers First: Leave me alone, I’m just tired

It’s that time of year, farm family – the time when moving to an abandoned shack in the middle of nowhere starts sounding awfully attractive.

There are lots of reasons for that urge, but I think they can be summed up in one word: exhaustion.

Exhaustion is that condition when your body feels heavy and slow, your brain takes a little bit longer to process information and your temper flares a little faster and hotter than usual.

You also know the cure for it: winter hibernation. Isn’t that why so many farmers take time “off” in winter?

For a few weeks (or even months), many farm stands and garden centers close down and growers take a vacation. Even if they spend their days repairing equipment and catching up on overdue tasks, the pace slows down. The pressure eases.

If a farmer’s exhaustion is purely physical, that approach may be effective. Unfortunately, I think most farmers suffer less from physical exhaustion at this time of year than from emotional exhaustion.

You may think that distinction is purely academic, but it is vitally important. The strategies that effectively treat one won’t necessarily help the other.

If you want to finish this season strong – and be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed come spring – it’s important to understand what kind of exhaustion you’re experiencing and take the appropriate steps to alleviate it.

What Kind of Exhausted Am I?

Distinguishing between physical and emotional exhaustion can feel a little like trying to distinguish between different types of powdery mildew. On the surface, they often look alike.

Both can produce recognizable physical and emotional symptoms: aching body parts, reduced efficiency, increased conflicts and a felt need for rest and alone time.

How can we tell which is which?

With powdery mildew, identification often requires secondary information such as host plant and/or microscopic observation. The same is true of exhaustion.

Let’s start by identifying the cause (our host plant, so to speak) of your exhaustion. Ask yourself:

• Do you generally wake up feeling eager and energized?

• Do you notice your tiredness after you’ve performed a specific activity (or group of activities) for an extended period of time?

• Do you feel tired after engaging in one or more high-intensity activities?

• Do you feel an increase in your energy level or social engagement after a rest, nap, snack or drink of water?

If you answered “yes” to those questions, congratulations! You are most likely physically exhausted! Get a good night’s sleep and give yourself a day or two of rest, good nutrition and hydration. You should feel better in no time.

If you can’t take a day off now, make sure you prioritize sleep. Try to get seven to nine hours each night.

Also, take a few five-minute quiet breaks throughout the day. Take a walk, drink some water, eat a healthy snack, meditate. Those breaks will keep you going until you can give yourself a more extended rest and reset.

What if you answered “no” to those questions, or a few days of R&R didn’t help?

Now we start looking at emotional exhaustion.

Unlike physical exhaustion, emotional exhaustion doesn’t come from physical exertion. It comes from emotional stress. That stress might come from long-term:

• Relational conflicts

• Work that doesn’t fit our personal values and priorities

• Environments where our words, actions and motives are constantly questioned, minimized or insulted

Emotional exhaustion usually builds up over time from long-term exposure to challenging situations and interactions. It can also arise from one or two highly traumatic situations such as experiencing or witnessing extreme violence, danger or fear.

If you find yourself regularly feeling disconnected from the people around you, uninterested in things you used to enjoy or physically exhausted from the time you get up to the time you go to bed even after a good night’s sleep, emotional exhaustion is likely the culprit.

I’m Emotionally Exhausted – What Now?

If you’re starting to suspect you’re emotionally exhausted, congratulations! (That’s not sarcasm. I am completely serious.)

Correct identification of a pathogen is the first step to eradicating it, so you’re already on your way to a more energetic, refreshed you.

The treatment for emotional exhaustion involves a two-pronged approach. You identify the source of the stress and then take steps to eliminate or manage it.

Review the list of stressors above. Does anything jump out at you? You’ll likely note at least one!

What are some ways you can eliminate those stressors? Maybe working the register during the busy season takes too much out of you. Consider hiring help so you can either get a much-needed break or even hand off the job altogether.

Maybe your understanding of soil health has undergone a shift, and it doesn’t align with the way your farm is currently managed. Schedule some time to sit down with your farm partners and discuss one or two changes that would meet your changing values.

Maybe a family member or partner constantly interrupts you when you speak. Consider having a conversation and setting up a phrase that says, “I’m finished. It’s your turn to speak,” such as “What do you think?”

If you’re suffering from emotional exhaustion, you’ll probably benefit from some external support. We don’t always know what strategies can reduce our exhaustion because we’ve never learned them.

A peer group, a regular creative or reflective practice, a therapist or even medication can provide the extra support and skills you need to heal faster and more fully than you can on your own. Not sure where to start? Email me at kcastrataro@pen-light.org. I’m not a therapist, but I can point you to some resources that I trust.

Don’t let exhaustion stifle you. It’s your time to grow.