Around the Kitchen Table: Save or toss?

Mama was a great saver of all things, useful and otherwise. Growing up as poor sharecroppers, Mama and her siblings had little to call their own. She only received one doll during her childhood, a delicate celluloid beauty she was given at school during a Christmas charity event.

She had a hard life, and like many who grew up during the Great Depression, Mama learned at an early age how to save anything that might be reused or repurposed. Both Mama and Daddy had tough childhoods, and they struggled during the first decades of their marriage, scrimping and saving to make a home. Even so, they lived most of their life in relative comfort – not rich by any means, but they had enough.

Despite the years of plenty, Mama never forgot what it felt like to be without – to be the one wearing hand-me-downs and only able to “window shop” instead of buy. Knowing her lack in childhood, we excused her penchant for saving just about everything, including stuff most people would toss. She had no problem throwing out real trash, but she never let a “good” box or a scrap of paper go to waste. Many of her recipes were written on the backs of envelopes, grocery lists and even napkins. She saved every letter, postcard, school project and book report, along with newspapers and magazines. We used to tease her that we would find her buried under one of her piles someday.

But come Christmas time, if we needed boxes to wrap gifts we had to ask Mama. She would get that knowing smile and say, “Help yourself. I’ve got plenty.”

Not only did her box collection come in handy, but I can’t remember how many school papers I wrote without having to make a trip to the library. We had a veritable Library of Congress in our closets and on our bookshelves.

As Mama’s mounds of saved things grew over the years, so did the need for extra space to store them. Thank goodness Dad was understanding. He knew Mama loved her stuff, so he kept building more shelves and adding more storage.

I love paper like Mama did – letters, cards, notes from the kids, etc. I can’t bear to throw them away. For me, it’s like discarding a wonderful memory. The older I get, the more I understand why Mama surrounded herself with those things. They weren’t just bits of paper to her, they were her life – tangible evidence that someone loved her and cared enough to create a visible sign of their affection.

Last year, I redid my kitchen/dining/sitting area. I thought maybe I could pare down my own assortment of books, thinking about Mama and her bulging shelves. Big mistake. After I’d hauled more than 200 volumes to the thrift store, I had a change of heart. Looking for a particular volume one day after my donation, I couldn’t find it and concluded I must have donated it. Off to town I went, straight to the thrift store, hoping to find the volume I was missing. No such luck. But I did find about a dozen of my recent “gifts” and promptly, unashamedly, bought them back on the spot. I vowed never to discard any book ever again.

My piles are currently reaching epic proportions, but I’ve learned my lesson. The kids can do what they will after I’m gone, but for now, I’ll hang on to all of them, thank you.

I also cannot abide throwing away perfectly good gift sacks and tissue paper/bows/ribbons. It has become routine for the kids and grands to automatically hand them over after they’ve opened their gifts. At Christmas, it’s a game to see who gets the oldest recycled bows, some of which are older than they are (think 1970s). I’ve also managed to amass an impressive box collection, which they raid every holiday. Mama would be proud.

I’ll admit that I cannot bring myself to toss perfectly good reusable stuff, which brings me to what started this whole rumination: birthday candles. For the last five years, I’ve been hosting a group birthday party for my youngest grands. It’s one of the few times I can see all of them together since they are now scattered and so busy. It’s a fun day all round – too much noise, sugar and excitement. This year after the candles were blown out, I noticed that the kids carefully removed them from the cakes and laid them on the table. My youngest daughter gathered them and placed them in a cup.

Several days later, as I was cleaning the dried chocolate and vanilla frosting off the candles, I realized keeping those little reminders wasn’t just a thrifty practice, but it made those fresh memories all the sweeter since I could hold the evidence of that wonderful time in my hands. Thanks, Mama. You taught me to save not just things, but what really matters.

Best Birthday Cake

This is a recipe that I’ve used for over 40 years. It is the most requested cake I make for birthdays and other events.

Ingredients:

2 cups flour

¾ teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

¾ cup unsweetened cocoa powder, firmly packed

2 cups sugar

1 cup vegetable oil (you may substitute unsweetened applesauce for half the oil)

1 cup hot strong coffee (or ½ cup hot coffee and ½ cup espresso)

1 cup whole milk

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

Directions:

Sift together dry ingredients, and then add oil, coffee, and milk; mix at medium speed for 2 minutes. Add eggs and vanilla; beat 2 more minutes. (The batter will be very thin, like water, but don’t worry, it will bake just fine.)

Pour into two greased and floured 9-inch cake pans. Bake at 325º for 30 – 35 minutes. Cool cakes for 15 minutes before removing them from pan. Cool completely before icing.

Icing:

1 cup whole milk

5 tablespoons flour

½ cup butter, softened

½ cup shortening

1 cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

Combine milk and flour in a small saucepan, cook while stirring over medium heat until it thickens. Cool for at least 2 hours in the refrigerator. In large mixing bowl, beat sugar, butter, shortening and vanilla until creamy; add chilled flour mixture and beat at high speed for 10 minutes.

by Tamra M. Bolton